From time to time, some law enforcement agencies will post about their nights. Occasionally, they'll inject some humor into those posts. Sometimes they don't have to. Sometimes the calls themselves are funny enough.
Wednesday night the Kellogg Police Department posted a recap of their week and it was rather entertaining. Below are a few of the calls they went on.
The Mystery of the Novelty Handcuffs (Not the Kinky Kind):
"Citizen contact in parking lot of Kellogg PD. Subject got a handcuff locked on his hand, requesting assistance in removal. Novelty pair of handcuffs (no pink fur) that do not take regular handcuff keys. Subject was advised to go to the Fire Station for removal (bolt cutters not an Axe). I was notified later that the subject never showed. Unknown result except on our end that we could not disengage the handcuff with our keys."
They never showed up to have them removed? The fact that there's no conclusion to this just as frustrating, if not more, than how The Sopranos ended.
When in doubt...
"K77 is having a hard time remembering what uniform to put on so he just wears both."
How Many Power Bills Does A Service Truck Equal?
"Contacted an upset male about a threat he made to Avista. He threatened to steal one of their vehicles if they continue to "rob" him. K77 spoke with him and advised him of some of the consequences of his threats. He assured K77 it wouldn't happen again."
You Got To Know When To Fold 'Em...
"Citizen contact at Eddie Joe's - female subject had too much to drink and was vomiting on the side of the building. Subject was safe and not in need of medical attention. Advised she was done drinking at establishments and cleared."
When Ya Gotta Go
"Traffic stop stemming from Cedar and Riverside, vehicle stopped Riverside and Hill. Verbal warning for taillight out and coming to a complete stop at stop signs. 2 small children in the vehicle desperately needing to use the restroom...it was a quick warning."
Good Cop, Bob Cop
"Disturbance on Upper 3rd - report of domestic in the 600 block. Arrived to a residence in disarray. Checked the residence and could not locate anyone. Located female subject on the hill side "watching the constellations". She states she is getting ready for a "yard sale" and this explained all the items that had been thrown out of the residence. K72 handled as she liked him better. (everybody likes BOB) Spoke with neighbors and the male half left a while prior to our arrival as he had been instructed to from previous incidents....so there's a positive to take away from this."
"Called to a theft of bicycles at Silver Mt. The value of the stolen bicycles will make this a grand theft case. Victim stated bikes were locked and someone stole them during the night hours."
Not funny. Just keep an eye out for stolen bikes if you're in the area.
"K75 Received a "parking ticket" from Chuck Peterson while he made contact with him at Chuck's Memorabilia Museum in Wardner. K75 also was quizzed on the 7 Peterson brothers who have served in our armed forces. K75 failed."
Did You Not Listen To The Temptations Growing Up?
"Called to an intoxicated male at the Silver Mt Parking lot. He was yelling obscenities at K90 for no apparent reason other than he might have thought she was a Patrol Officer and that’s why he dumped out his beer in the parking lot. Made contact with said potty mouth and explained to him that’s not the way we speak to Lady’s."
Well done, KPD! Stay safe out there!
(story: Cory Howard, Executive Producer Interactive, KHQ.com; photo: Kellogg Police Department)